I really need to go to a Bible study so that I can learn to read scripture in context.
God deserves to be praised because He is loving, He is worthy, He is constant, He never fails us, He wants us, He is the creator, He is God. He wants our prayers and he wants to have a relationship with Us. Which is intense because I see how much I stumble, I see how much those aorund me stumble, I see how the world stumbles, and it is irritating. Why should we Ever have to doubt God and question Him and then stumble and question ourselves when God is constant and mighty and true to his word? He is very big. Try to put yourself in perpective, compared to how Large the World is. Don’t even think about the universe, just look into the sky and notice how immense it is. Look at an ant and place your finger next to it. God’s finger is huge and we are the tiny ants that He could literally squish without touching it.
I really need to learn how to dig into God’s word and be Encouraged by it more than frightened. I have trouble with mixing myself with the people of the Bible who had unbelieving hearts. I do believe in God, in Christ, but then I have trouble believing in my salvation when I shouldn’t. Because I don’t have the feelings I believe my faith should produce, or I am not guilty of my sins uless they are ‘really bad’ in my eyes, because I have trouble seeking comfort from God’s promises and His words to US, I doubt myself. And in doubting myself I end up doubting God and then I get into this whole mess of trouble.
But right now, I don’t feel what I would define as peace, but contentment. I don’t feel scared or worried, and I’ve been like that since my prayer the other day after I freaked out about the verse from Hebrews. God HAS to be working on me. I know people who have gone through the same exact thing I have. They’ve grown up in the church, and they can say God brought them out of it, or is slowly bringing them out of it. I’m not alone. And I am slowly beginning to see God answering prayers. I am slowly beginning to understand fear of the Lord.
I want to keep typing to try and explain myself more, but I have trouble with speaking/writing/conveying my thoughts without going in circles.
Pray for me, please? I know I always am asking for prayer, and about the same things over and over. My dad tells me I’m being to hard on myself. But am I? Really?